I'd bet my Life    if I wasn't already Dead
by KuroiWinter
Summary: Ichigo and Rukia decided to make a bet on something important to one and relatively meaningless to the other . . . but they can't decide what the stakes should be.


Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of the characters or setting that Tite Kubo created.

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><p><em>I'd bet my Life . . . if I wasn't already Dead<em>

Sitting on the top of a rundown multistorey building on the outskirts of Karakura Town, and watching the scene unfolding on the ground below, Kurosaki Ichigo turned to Rukia and smirked mockingly, 'Let's make a bet,' his tone was worryingly confident.

'A bet?' the shinigami turned to stare at the orange haired teenager, blue violet eyes wary. She'd heard him talk like this before and the results were never so good.

'That's right,' Ichigo grinned suddenly, glancing back down at the ground, not at all concerned by the long drop, 'I bet that it'll never happen. Not in a _thousand_ years,'

Rukia changed from being cautious to being absolutely mad, her hands clenching into tight fists, 'It's not like _you_ could do it, you idiot!'

'I never said I could,' still smirking, the substitute shinigami laughed the matter aside, 'So, are you in?'

'Of course,' Rukia honestly hoped that she wasn't going to lose this bet, it would be way too embarrassing. After all, she would practically be the one to blame if it failed. Thinking like that, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea . . . there were so many possible tragedies.

'What are the stakes?' considering the situation, Ichigo planned to do his best to make the most of it. He was practically certain he'd win, and so he wanted a fitting 'prize'.

'How about my entire drawing collection?' Rukia offered, deciding to put her idea forward first to make it seem like she wasn't at all hesitant about the situation.

'What the hell? No sane person would want any of your pathetic scribbles, especially not me!' for all his efforts to sound absolutely mocking, Ichigo received a new bruise.

'Fine!' indigo eyes flashing slightly, Rukia thought up another option quickly, 'Well, what about my entire Chappy collection? I have heaps so it wouldn't be a small thing,'

Remembering the hundreds of rabbit merchandise she had hidden around the Kuchiki manor, the petite shinigami couldn't help but grin. She wasn't even sure if her Nee-sama knew that she'd been regularly, but secretly, buying different toys, stationary and other Chappy-related things, then putting them around the large building so that she could find them again later and be pleasantly surprised. The Kuchiki Estate was actually rather full of interesting hiding spots.

'No way! That's almost as bad,' Ichigo regretted his decision to speak as another bruise was gifted to him most generously, 'Ouch! You're such a violent person, Rukia!'

'What about,' Rukia trailed off, thinking hard but completely ignoring the teenager's loud complaints, 'One of Nee-sama's koi? They're super rare and really amazing!' her eyes were practically sparkling at the very thought of her brother and his koi.

Thinking about the stoic man and his prized fish, Ichigo couldn't help but groan loudly. When Yachiru had stolen every single one of them and put the koi into Ukitake's pond at Ugendo instead, he'd somehow been tasked with returning them all to the Kuchiki Estate and the experience hadn't been pleasant. Short pink haired shinigami with large mouths who like eating anything could really cause some nasty cuts – especially to you head.

He couldn't even remember why he'd been in the Soul Society in the first place.

'Definitely not,' he shook his head vehemently, 'He can keep his all of his damned fish,'

'Hmm,' Rukia was having trouble thinking of anything so she asked Ichigo's advice, promptly discarding his last statement about her Nii-sama's koi, 'Well since you're not being forthcoming with any ideas yourself . . . what do you think I should bet?'

'You haven't got anything worth betting, I'm sure,' Ichigo mocked her, leaning back slightly and making a face, 'All of your ideas have been ridiculous so far,'

Rukia was furious so she shouted in his face, jumping to her feet and yelling down at him, 'I'd bet my life!' then she paused, her anger deflating instantly, and the dark fire in her eyes dimmed, 'If I wasn't already dead,'

Ichigo's expression changed, and he stood up slowly, eyeing her with an almost thoughtful look, even though his words completely negated that, 'I wouldn't want your life anyway,'

The dark cloud of murderous fury that rippled around the short shinigami was truly terrifying, 'Then what the _hell_ do you want?' the rage in her voice and the reiatsu flaring around her created a deadly scene. Even if it was only to disguise her hurt.

'I don't want any of your drawings, your Chappy rabbits or your brother's overly-glorified fish,' he leaned towards her slowly, eyes searching, 'I just want _you_,'

And then he kissed her and both of them forgot about the bet entirely.

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><p>Somewhere on the ground below, Abarai Renji's tired expression suddenly brightened, and he threw a fist into the air, 'Yes! I did it! I did it! I did it!'<p>

As the satisfactory sounds of crashing and cracking filled the air, the red headed shinigami spun around, eyes seeking out his long-time friend and the annoying substitute shinigami who'd been watching from one of the nearby rooftops, gauging his progress.

His grin faded slowly when he realised he couldn't see them anywhere, or sense their reiatsu nearby.

Renji found that he was absolutely heartbroken that no one had been around to witness his very first, almost perfectly executed Shakkaho.

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><p>Author's Note:<p>

Ichigo . . . didn't it cross your mind that an easier way of expressing your feelings to Rukia would just be to tell her outright? She's a direct person, so it probably would've been better than bringing her to the point where she was ready to kill you, before actually doing anything nice. Making Kuchiki Rukia that mad is treading on thin, thin ice.

Oh, Renji . . . sorry about that. Er, I'm sure you'll get to show someone your kido skills - can a single Shakkaho count as gaining skill? - at another time. Yes, don't be disheartened!

Ah well, hope you enjoyed this random little story!


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